13. Lost in Time

13.  Lost in Time


I woke up in a panic this morning.

Today’s Saturday an tomorrow mornin, daylight savin starts. An I have to put all the clocks back or forward an cos I’m the bloke, me mum gets me to do it an I always worry I’ll get it wrong. I can nevva work out which way, an tomorrow it’ll be 3 oclock when it used to be 4 oclock, or it’s the other way round an we’re goin backwards in time, but if I go the wrong way - I’ll be out by 2 hours an we’ll be 9 oclock when everyone else is 11 oclock or 7 oclock, dependin if we’re goin forwards or backwards in time!

I look across at the clock an it’s 5.55am. I hope I’m lookin forward to sleepin an extra hour tomorrow, then maybe I’ll wake up at 6.66. In the meantime, I’ve got another 5 minnits till the alarm goes off. I flick the doona off an stick me bum out an squeeze a fart out over the edge of the bed an a little voice grumps: “I heard that!”
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