16. Stoned!

16. Stoned!


Sheree came in with a handful of shiny stones yesterday. What is it about chicks and shiny stones? So she opens em up on the kitchen bench an she’s all sorta excited an she goes,

“Pick a stone, any stone!”

So, okay, there’s a blue one there. I pick it and she goes, “Oooh!  Good one!”   Then she reads out from the bit of paper that they so thoughtfully provide so’s you don’t twig that yer just buyin a bunch of stones at diamond prices and she goes: " Chrysocolla ... 'you are charming, given to deep emotions and have a highly-developed sense of intuition. Trust your instincts more, and your thoughts and purpose will follow ’.”

 So, like, I’m a bloke, I’m stupid, I ask the obvious questions that a bloke shouldn’t ask if he evva wants to have sex again:

“Have you gotta a stone there what says I like a beer and footie, I don’t trust politicians or wanky advice from stones?”


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