4. Fear n Loathin in the Supermarket

4.  Fear n Loathin in the Supermarket

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Y’know what I like best about diaries? They’re private. You can write anything you like an nobody will ever know. I can write anythin about me girlfriend, me job or me mates an then I hide me diary under me laundry cos that’s the safest place in me room (trust me No-Ones gunna wanna touch THAT!) an I hide it cos of me one great fear: Sheree.

Talkin about fears, I’ll tell ya a secret: me other great fear, only don’t go blabbin cos nobody evva admits to fear. I’m scared shitless of supermarkets. Yep.

An why I’m tellin youse this, is cos I’m standin here right now in front of the toothpaste aisle an straight up, there’s a Toothpaste Aisle! A whole fukkin aisle with toothpaste on it. There’s so much toothpaste, I think it would take up 3 walls of me bedroom an just leave room fer the window! It’s just toothpaste, fer chrissakes. How many ways different can it be?
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